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Curse Me for a novice!

New co-op comic: “Roundabout” starting

Subject: NZ to be disbanded: PM claims nobody’s using it anyway

Auckland, Tuesday: Following the succesful disbanding of the armed forces the Prime Minister of New Zealand, Helen Clark, has unveiled a new bold plan to totally disband the entire nation .   In a statement to the Worlds PressPrime Minister Clark suggested that reports that their armed forces had beenforced to say ‘bang, bang’ during war exercises had been the final nail for theonce-almost-proud nation.

‘For years now we’ve been doing nothing of value .   All our really profitable industries have gone overseas . Music, kiwifruit, Russell Crowe.   After that its basically just a bunch of sheep and a once proud rugby team.   Even the Cricketers are poor by world standards” Clarke said.

Clarke went on to outline the timetable for disbanding the nation following the sale sale of the Navy’s two dinghies and after the Army gives its shotgun back to the British.  

In a sometimes emotional presentation Ms Clarke outlined the difficulties facing the former country.   “Every nation but , as it’s problems but, as the leader, you can always look at some other loser nation and say they’re worse off than us.   We finally realsied that we could no longer do that.”

The final nail in the coffin came last Monday when the New Zealand Treasury tabled a report that found that Adam Gilchrist’s new contact with the Austrailian Cricket Board had him earning more than the entire New Zealand GDP.

“When that hit us we realised that the ship was pretty much Gunwale deep in sediment and it was time to turn off the bilge pumps and move to a real country”, a Treasury spokesman said.

All industry and businesses are expected to have left the Archipelago by the end of June and all responsibilites will cease at the first of July.

Any farmers wishing to remain will do so on a purely subsistence basis with the possibility of a feaudal system developing by the end of September.   The All Blacks will maintain a training facility near Otago until the end of August after which which time New Zealand in all it’s forms and pursuits will cease to exist.

 When asked how the loss of the entire nation of New Zealand will affect the Pacific  region, a world band spokesman called for an atlas.

                                                                                                anon.Ritters

But what I want to know is what Dougal has to say about it?

The infamous creative duo Cornelius Stone and Roger Langridge are after new blood and old friends for this collaborative work.

$100.00 for 5 pages.   Roger has bought 20 pages, making him the feature lead (see even the bosses pay) and this has given the budget $400.00.   Adds will cost more.

 “ It’s strictly old school- you need to supply camera ready art work-something good photocopies have always been” says Corn. and “I reserve the right to say no.

Any questions E-mail Corn

soothdotcorn@hotmail.com

or ring him 378 9122

Also lined up for Roundabout are Indira, Stephan Neville and Dylan Horrocks

Killerwatts’ Tessla coil @ Night

The light to the left in the photograph is a silver metal caravan reflecting the bolts of lightening like energy erupting out of an aliminium sphere.   Some of us thought that the bolts would make the caravan live.

The experience of the coil is amazing as you not only get the visual effect, there is the zapping sound/ river of energy and the aroma which is pungent and most unusual.

Its like having fireworks night  every night in your own backyard but better.

We are going to attempt to video it...the coil can cause injury to electronics, heres hoping.

When asked to comment on his image appearing in Ipoka, Mills the Mime was speechless...of course...More on Mills next week    His favioute spot in Browns Bay is shared with Musician Paul Williams...but you never see them together...hmmm could they be one in the same?  They r going to kill me!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE VENUE!!

Jordan Luck blasted Browns Bay last Saturday night with his band Illustrious for The Venues 1st  Birthday.

It was also great to see Bryan from The Dead Flowers blasting away on guitar.

I must admit feeling nervious about asking these guys for an interview but Bryan put me right telling my declaration of being star stuck (it always happens to me) was bullshit and to get on with it.   So click back sometime early next year for the video.

Jordan also won number 7 in Apra New Zealand MusicsTop 10with “Victoria” written when he was in The Dance Exponents (...later The Exponents).

It was an excellent gig with an incredible energy and vibe that rocked Browns Bay, and it was so good to hear I love my leather jacket (the chills) and Sierra Leone

Tell Me What Ever happened to Tracy? “She lives happily in Hastings” said Jordan to the crowd.   Everytime I see him I am reminded of how much charisma he has towards the crowd and what years of being in the business has done to his ability to get a kiwi audience to forget thier problems and rock out!

What a magical night it twas

Life will never be the same again after ChrisKnoxs (flying nun)radio special on Yoko Ono on the b.

I first heard her @ Razor House (birthplace of Knuckles) in 93

But Chris (as usual) humbled us all with his knowledge of awesome experiemental Ono and John’s (later) work.

I was reminded why I rebelled @school listening to Lennon and how everyone and everything seemed so straight & conformist in little old e.c.b

Tadpole album

What is Buddhafinger all about is the title/concept a slag of Buddha’s teaching?

Um, it was a phrase from a sample on the album, that’s where it came from, there’s no religious undertones whatsoever- Chris Tadpole

Your news is wanted about your band, art, plays, short films, writing, websites or anything “you thinks” is interesting.

The Venue nightclub of Browns Bay (up above Post Shop) has just turned One.

Notes Bar

453 K’Road.

just down from Speakers Corner  

Phone (649) 309 5262

A venue for musicians,  bands and everyone.

Tuesday nights singer/songwriter night

Wednesday Nights

Jam night

Quiz Night every Wednesday Night

@ Speakers K’Road

You and your friends can win a bar tab of $50-$250.00!

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Back of the Y Masterpeice Television

Havoc’s Luxury Office Suites and Conference Facility

Breakfast Radio with Mikey Havoc in the morning 95bfm

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Netguide,Imag  NZ Musician

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alternative/indie/

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NATURE BY WAYNE MASON (FOURMYULA) WINS APRAs NZs TOP 10 AWARD OF THE LAST 75 YEARS and Susan Wood only interviewed him last week!find out the rest of New Zealand’s Top 10 at apra

America and Allies at War...find out what one of our viewers has to say about it in the letters section

In New Zealand:

Girls are better students   Its official the Girls are tops in New Zealand Colleges, Girl Power and The Womens Movement in the last 25-30 years has succeeeded in nurturing Women to the highest degree, now some are asking what about the Boys?

Bill English takes over the reins

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